Have you settled down?

‌‌‌‌Settling down is such a broad phrase that means different things for different people. After not feeling settled down for such a long time even after ticking all the so-called required boxes, I had to redefine what the phrase - to settle down- meant to me, so here's my definition, to settle down means to be in a state of contentment with our inner self as well as the current state and future direction of your life. Our lives are always changing so it's quite difficult to find oneself in this state and, if at all, for a substantial amount of time. ‌‌Growing up, I understood it to mean when one had a Job and was ready to get married and have kids and it honestly retained that definition for a very long time. It wasn't until I got a job, got married and had kids and still never quite felt settled down that it dawned on me, to settle down wasn't as easy as everyone had made it. I realized that to be content with one's life and its trajectory was a luxury very few individuals enjoyed and this was mostly because it was a thing of the mind. Now, I strongly believe that if at any stage of your life, you feel content, then you are settled down.

This is not to say that the old definition I held for years didn't hold some truth, it does. A job, a life partner, kids and so on are great reasons to be content and yet, it has never been enough for most people.

To feel content in today's world where we already have preconceived notions as well as other people's quantifiable successful lives to measure up to, can be difficult and most people always fall short. Personal contentment despite everyone else's beautiful life is a difficult thing to attain especially with other people's successes in our faces through social media every minute of every day and honestly, is it even attainable now? And how?

In my journey, I found one of the things that have helped me, was forming and practising a Gratitude habit daily. This takes a lot of practice and I am still a work in progress.

I am no Guru but I believe having a sense of gratitude at all times helps us cultivate feelings of contentment and we begin to appreciate even the tiniest milestones in our lives. Gratitude helps us scan through our lives and be grateful for how far have come.

For those of us living in foreign countries, I imagine it's even more difficult when we try to compare our lives with the indigenous of the country or to the other immigrants like us who arrived years before and it seems like their lives are going amazingly well while ours doesn't show many signs of improvement.

We need to always remember that life is a journey and everyone starts from somewhere and with time, as we work on ourselves as well as on our sense of gratitude, we begin to see the changes that are taking place in our lives, this changes our outlook on life as well which is a pleasant bonus. Life is not stagnant I promise you.

All this to say that I hope 2023 is kind to us all and that we all feel a bit more settled in whatever stages of life we find ourselves. ‌

‌‌Lastly, I would like to know, how many of you consider yourselves settled down and what yardstick you use to deduce that. And for those that don't feel settled down yet, what needs to change in your life to get you to that state?‌‌‌‌‌‌

Until next time Tchüss!